Ryan Cole

Oh that face. His lips, his big pure blue eyes, his long curly eye lashes, his strawberry blonde hair with the curl in the back....when did my baby get so big!! He is a tank. 

He is 17 months old, going on to terrible twos. He will definitely let you know when he doesn't like something thats for sure. Its nearly impossible to get him to smile in a picture. But he likes to be silly. He loves to put things in his mouth and look at me all sly and mischievous like and laugh and run away. When you ask him a question he always answer uh huh in the cutest sweetest most innocent inflection ever.  He picks up new words quickly and likes to say new words when you tell him to say something. My favorite new thing he says is 'tank you mama' when I give him something and 'aldone mama' and hands me his plate or food instead of throwing it all over the place. He has the cutest voice ever.  Melts my heart. 

He likes to be involved in whatever is happening but he also enjoys quietly playing his own thing by himself. He loves playing with Cade and trying to keep up with his big brother. They love chasing each other around the house. The best is when they are both cracking up at each other. 

He loves cars, books, and playing in water. When he wants some thing...like food...he will come to me and say 'pum pum' for some some. Or 'teet teet' if he knows there is a treat in the house. :) Smart boy. He is a little love bug too. He LOVES baby Levi and is always so happy to see him 'baabyyy' and wants to give him hugs and kisses.  We sure do love you little bug!! A lot has happened since you were born and you have grown up fast. Slow down my little Ry Ry!! Can I just freeze you at this stage forever??

We had Ryan's first birthday here at home (Nov. 25th 2014). We had a fun time eating cake, facetiming grandparents, and opening presents. 

Birthday boy

Happy birthday boy and his partner in crime

Happy birthday Ryan bug! Cant wait to see all you will learn this year!

Cade's 3rd Birthday

Motherhood/parenthood has a way of making you feel not human. I find myself juggling between tasks at an alarming rate trying to keep everyone fed, happy, and safe. Mommy's tired? Too bad. Hungry? It will have to wait.  In desperate need to get a shower, brush your teeth, brush your hair....you know how it goes. If one of these three little munch gins needs something, mom's needs/wants wait. Ive never had to put myself last so much in my life. You give until you have nothing let to give and then you give some more. Sometimes they are the most beautiful happy moments of your life and sometimes they are the toughest, in the same day. It stretches your soul and patience.

Having Levi has reminded me to slow down and be present in the moment.  The baby stage is so short.  Its so easy to wish away the hard times but I want to do better at enjoying and making the most of my time with my kids. 

We had Cade's third birthday party and I have to say seeing his happiness at all the pirate stuff and excitement of opening the treasure box and lego pirate ship was one of those happy moments. It makes everything feel so worth it. 

Happy birthday to the cutest pirate there is! :) 

Baby Levi is Born

Little Levi was born April 15th, 2015.  I was on the tentative list for being induced but since we hadnt heard from the hospital, we decided to get out of the house and show my mom the army post. Well that did it because we went on a walk at 5pm and during the walk and at the park I started having contractions.  We got in the car and went out to eat. They started getting intense and close together.  By 7pm ish we were home and I was very sure I was in labor.  The contractions were every 2 minutes or less and lasting a minute or more. We hurried and finished packing our stuff and hurried in the car.  By the time I got to the hospital it was about 8pm and I was at 7 cm. It wasnt looking like I could get an epidural which I was not prepared for.  I was having a lot of back pain and it was tough. I was getting myself prepared to do it naturally but I was scared. At 8 cm an opportunity became available to get an epidural and I took it.  At 11:40 pm in 2 pushes and in less then 5 minutes Levi Reid Timothy was born! 

We are so happy to have another healthy beautiful boy. The next few days were magical and Brice and I joked that our stay in the hospital was our vacation. Thanks to my mom for watching the boys and helping us out! It was so ncie to not have to worry and just focus on getting well, resting, and taking care of our new baby. 

He is almost 1 month old now and I find myself wanting him to slow down!! I want to just soak up all the time with him as a baby. It really does go so fast. 

We have been trying to get out too to enjoy the weather! Oh my do I feel like I have earned this nice weather. 6 plus months of harsh cold weather is rough. But boy is it pretty here! So it makes it worth it...almost. :)

Hike on the Black River trail in New York

They are such boys and I love it. Dirt, sticks, rocks...what more can you want!

Cade is clearly into guns.  I get shot at multiple times a day...its their favorite game. Ive gotten really good at dying...youd be impressed.

Ryan's Birth Story

Its only a year later, but I did it! yay! Im printing it off today to put in his memory accordion and posting it to my blog for fun :)

Monday morning November 25^th my mom and I woke up early to head to American Fork hospital. We had everything packed up and Ellen (Brice’s mom) came over to watch Cade. I was excited and nervous. I felt peace that everything would be ok. I was excited to have the chance to talk to Brice and all I wanted to tell him was how everything went so well. I had only talked to him on the phone a couple of times for a short time since he had left Oct 6^th for basic training.

         Went in at 7am to be induced. Had taken birth prep and prim rose oil.  They told me I was at a 4 and really ready and soft. I really think it helped to take the medicine because both nurse and midwife seemed pleasantly surprised how ready I was for never having real contractions.

         American Fork hospital. Checked in. Started Pitocin slowly.  Didn’t really feel contractions too much. Gentle and still could relax. Melissa (doula) did a gentle touch exercise while I focused on my breathing and listened to relaxing music. I wanted to be sure I could have the epidural right before they got too much but didn’t want to wait too long.  They turned up the Pitocin and things started to pick up but still not bad. They turned it up again after sometime had gone by. 

         They were getting really strong and there was a lot of pelvic pain and some back pain, which I didn’t remember having with Cade. I decided it was time for the epidural. I don’t remember what I was at this time. I want to say I was at a 5.5 cm but I didn’t worry too much about it. Just went with my feelings.

         This time it was much slower in getting it and it stating to work. I leaned on Melissa while they put it in. I remember it been very difficult to sit and it made me nervous for the next contraction. The nurse told me to put my legs up and criss cross them. That made a huge difference while I worked through some hard long contractions while I got the epidural.

         I remember feeling it go in much more than I did with Cade. It didn’t really hurt, but not comfortable I would say. They had me lay on my back as soon as it was in (which is also a very hard position to be in while contracting) and had a few more hard contractions. It seemed to take a while before I really starting seeing it work and I could relax. They helped me by holding my legs up while I laid down.

         Once the epidural kicked in I rested. I didn’t have chills or any side affects of any kind. The midwife would come and check on me and she said she could break my water any time and things would really speed up. I decided not to do that. To just relax, breathe, and focus on my baby. I decided there was no rush.

         My doula Melissa reminded me to listen to my body, to continue to do the things I wanted to do before I had the epidural, that it was my body’s way of telling me what it needed (to keep my legs open, to not sit ect). My hesitation to break my water I felt was because it wasn’t really the right thing for me to do. So I rested and waited.  It wasn’t too long after all that that I started to feel something. I was worried at first that maybe he was already coming out…but it couldn’t be that easy, could it?

         Just as I was telling Melissa what I was feeling, my midwife came in and checked. She couldn’t believe what she saw. It was the sack just ballooning out. He was ready to come!!        

Took some real effort to break the sack on her part because of how tough it was.  When I started to push I pushed like normal but then the midwife had me back off and do just half pushes. She was doing all she could to help me not tear. I was brave this time and wanted to see with the mirror and watched it all happen. It was pretty neat to see and crazy too.   It took less then 10 minutes to get him out and a handful of pushes.  He was born soon after 1:00 pm.  Labor was just over 5 hours.

         As soon as he was out they put him right on me. The cord was
short and couldn’t come up too far.  His eyes were already slightly open. He was so cute and small.  He cried a little but seemed really calm to me. It was love at first sight. I got to hold him and nurse him soon after.

         I got to keep Ryan with me (holding or in his hospital bassinet) the whole time until I got to my recovery room….a few hours after I had him. After that they took him and gave him a bath. I wanted to watch so I went down in a wheel chair.  His eyes were open more and he was the cutest baby in the world!

         It was a beautiful day and besides Brice not being there, there was nothing that could have gone better. Answer to prayers for sure!! I felt completely taken care of and everything happened that way I had hoped. I only look back at Ryan’s birth with happy, peaceful feelings.  He was such a sweet, calm, happy, easy going baby and I was so in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him. I am so blessed to know my little Ryan bug!!!

Timothy Family Addition

Baby oh baby!!!!! We are going to have our hands full with three under three!! ha

When we first found out we were pregnant we were surprised and overwhelmed. Now we are past the shock ha and are so happy and excited. Its going to get even crazier over here!!! I am 10 weeks right now and am due April 22nd 2015.  Cade will still be 2 and Ryan will be 17 months old. 

We had an ultra sound this Monday. There is definitely only one moving around in there :) We saw the baby's heart beat, little moving arms and the umbilical cord.  He or she is only the size of a lima bean. Life is so amazing!! 

We would love to have a girl...but we would be so happy if its a boy too. Three boys.....I think that would be so cute too!! :) 

My morning sickness is starting to ease up and Im so glad about that. Im still so exhausted and I have bad days but its more manageable. Poor kids have been entertained with Disney for the last month!! You do what you have to do. HUGE shout out to my very patient and helpful husband. He has picked up the slack so much around here since Ive been sick. After work he is a full time daddy and husband shopping for food, making food for us, changing diapers, and helping take care of the kids and me. I cant wait to feel better and start getting things done again!!!

Cravings Ive had lately: 

Swiss rolls, veggie sushi rolls, cheese sandwiches with mayo

Cade William

This little boy of mine is growing up!! I am in love with this little face....his dirty blonde hair, long dark eyelashes, sky blue eyes with dark blue rings around the outsides...and that smile of his that lights up his whole face. He is adventurous, determined, intense (I dont know where he gets that from ha) and funny...he has the best facial expressions! He is at his best when he is out and about and doing something. He loves kids and seeing new things. I think he might be my extrovert. 

This little man has some ideas! It seems like he is always thinking of some way of making something and doing something. And boy can he get into trouble. Some times I feel like I cant get ahead of him. hah

He is OBSESSED with airplanes and his blanket. He always needs his airplane and his car with him. He loves to play with water but doesnt really like to get in it and get all wet.  
He doesnt like socks and refuses to let me put them on him. Brushing his teeth is a fight most days. Hes been more into pretend play lately and its so cute to watch him pretend to take care of his doll, or to pretend to eat and feed me. He gets very concerned when something (like in a movie or his toy) gets hurts or cries.

He loves to jibber jabber and will repeat words and sentences when u tell him too. He loves imitating what you do too. 

favorite words: 
deedee (blanket) 
airmane (airplane) 
spoo (show)
fu-fus (food)
stawberry - this was his first multi syllable word
 waterdirsty (he wants a drink)
 no peez no peez no peez no (no please)
is sad  (something gets hurt)
a fun (something fun - like playground or outside)
uh oh no no ry ry (telling ryan not to do something)

favorite signs: 
food, again, more, bird, frog,apple, strawberry, thirsty, banana, please, cookie


What worries me the most about him right now is his picky eating, his love for sugar, his obsession with Ipad games and shows, and his talking. oh and how to potty train him. 

Even with some frustrating moments, he is such a good boy. He brings so much joy to our family and I am so grateful to have him in my life!! It sure is so fun to watch him grow and change. 

Random Thoughts

my two children are currently wanting me instead of quietly going to sleep in their bed...which is all i want to do right now :) little ryan needs me like he needs a binkie or a blanket. he is completely calm when i hold him but as soon as I lay him down his eyes pop open and he knows im not there anymore! 

ive had a million thoughts running through my head lately and although im pretty sure not many people even read my blog (which actually makes it maybe easier to write) i really want to share them. 

today i went to the commissary (its the grocery store on the military base) and i saw a family of five kids. i did the look without trying to make it obvious you are counting look and sure enough 5 little munchgins. the next thought that went through my head is wow, they must be exhausted. 

i love seeing moms with lots of little kids. it honestly makes me smile and i think, im so glad im not the only crazy one around here.  to have a bunch of small kids close together is not for the weak and going to the store with them and survive is something to be celebrated! 

today as ryan was crying and i went in and held him, i was so glad i didnt feel frustrated but thought how one day he wont want me anymore. he will want his friends or his wife or whatever else...but right now all he wants is me and i am the only thing in this world that calms him and makes him happy. i was so grateful i could have that bigger picture today. 

we have been in new york now for 6 months, and all in all its been a really good experience. its soo pretty here and the people in our ward are amazing people. i like learning about their different stories. In the military, people usually have a story to tell about why they are in the military and how things have gone for them. although im still very hesitant about living a military life, i try to just focus on the here and now, and right now it feels like this is the right place for us. 

when i was in california i had the chance to see my grandma rosell. she is in hospice and i was warned about how bad she is right now. she didnt move at all and breathed with her mouth open and her head back. she talk very muffled and quiet but i could hear her say how wonderful and to tell her all ive been doing. i could see her spirit come through, the one i know and love so much. it was time to go and i got up and gave her a hug and a kiss and i knew that was the last time id probably see her. its a sad reality when you know theres no more hellos, no more of something, and to have no more of my sweet grandma broke my heart. i tried hard to cry quietly and gave her another hug and kiss. i need to remember in all the space of days, there will be a last day for me and the others i love. my days are numbered and i need to remember that to make better use of my time here. 

I saw a post on face book the other day that said "I wish I could live life with the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old." wow what kind of life would i live if i could live like that?? With time and experience there is wisdom. The things you would do in your 20s maybe you would never have done in your 30s because you have grown and learned and changed. its so easy to look back and say what you would have done differently. but you know things because youve gone through them...standing at the door with the world of uncertainty before you is a very different story. and not only that, you are looking at it without the burden of the challenges and trials of that time.  although i wish i sometimes i had a start over button to life i need to remember to be kind to myself. i did the best i could at the time. maybe my best now is different then my best then, but i cant get down about that. 

well i think that will be it for now...and happily i think my kids are finally asleep! :)