Trying to find peace after Friday

Ever since hearing about Friday, I havent stopped thinking about it. It is so hard to wrap your mind around something like this. Its bothered me so much as it has I'm sure everyone in this country and around the world. It is beyond disturbing and I wish I could unknow what I know. I wish it wasn't true. I think about this situation as a teacher and as a parent, and it is heartbreaking. My heart just aches for all those who have lost their children and loved ones needlessly.  It has affected my mood over these few days because I can't stop thinking about how horrible it all is and how for these poor families it is their nightmarish reality. 

As I was saying my prayers that night, I prayed for the families of those who are suffering the shock of losing their loved ones. I couldn't help but express deep gratitude for the Savior's Atonement. Without it, how can any of us deal with this horrible knowledge that someone has done this to innocent children and women? It is unthinkable the suffering of them and their families. And as I thought this I thought, how can the Savior bare it? This is one event in one day. And then to think of all the suffering known and unknown throughout time. I guess I had always pictured His Atonement like a deep well that took in pain and sorrow of this life. But then I thought the words "infinite atonement" and what that really means.  It is infinite because it is really that, it has no limit. It has no beginning and end.  He can bare all this. What a miraculous thing. It is so humbling. 

As I laid in bed an image came to my mind that has helped me too. It was a picture of the Savior in the middle of a group of small children. They are hugging him and He is hugging them.  I could see him holding them and comforting them and see His peace in his soft smile. I could see Him look up at me and in His face I could feel that all was in His hands and that He was loving and caring for them now.

Also, I read this today that helped me. I love what Stephanie Nielson said in her blog. (http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2012/12/angels.html)

 "All I could say to them (her own 4 children) that brought comfort and peace was that I believed that angels were there at school with them that day.

They were close by, holding and caring for the children who were
frightened, scared, hurt or taken... 

I KNOW angels were there with those children...
I want to be diligent in praying with my children before school each day.

I want them to know that we started our day dedicated to God and

If anything should happen we prayed, and we know that

He is in control, He can bless, and He can and will heal broken hearts."

These two scriptures have helped me sort through this a bit more...

3 Nephi 17: 22 - 24"...and he took their little children, one by one, and ^bblessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them. 22 And when he had done this he wept again; 23 And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones. 24 And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and ^aencircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them.

I wonder if He had wept that day not just because of his great love for those and all children but because He knew the bad they would experience in this life and what would happen to them and felt deep sorrow.  I like to believe angels were given to those children that day too. 

Matt 18: 6 "But whoso shall ^aoffend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

Justice will be served. Death is not an escape. The cowardly boy who did this will face the consequences and he will pay under Gods justice. 

Although it is not something we can understand because it was evil at work, the Savior can help us work through this. I just feel so much for these families. We will move on and it will be in the past, but for these poor families each day will be a reminder of the loved ones they lost.